One of the many amazing aspects of blogging is the great friends you make. One of these great friends I have made is Diana over at For The Lovely Days. She is a fellow mama, wife, and blogger and today we have guest posted for each other to give some advice on Marriage! I am excited to share what Diana has said, her words are beautiful…
Hey there lovelies I’m Diana the face behind forthelovelydays.com My blog is for all lovers of motherhood, beauty, fashion, and lifestyle things. My main goal is to branch out to women worldwide and encourage them to be the best version of themselves. I’m also a motherhood advocate and a promoter of beauty + fashion. My home is Florida, but currently reside with my little family in St. Louis. I’m a soccer wife and boy mom of one. I’ve been married since Jan 2014, my husband is literally my best-est friend and my son is the reason I am empowered and inspired.
A lot of people venture out to the married life expecting the best. Expecting it to be ideal, convenient, beautiful, & basically a “fairy tale” ending. It’s perfectly normal to be excited & positive as newlyweds, the more optimism the better right? Well, I’ve been married for almost 2 years, I know.. we’re still newbies but I have LEARNED A LOT & those expectations aren’t always true. Today, I want to share with you the reality of a “married life”, the good, the bad, & the realness of it. Society is so caught up in this new age generation that it blinds most from realizing IT IS OK TO BE MARRIED IN YOUR 20’s, OR BE MARRIED PERIOD. However, I’ve already wrote my thoughts about that. If you haven’t read my post about marriage in your 20’s, check it out HERE. Now, without further ado, these are a few things marriage has taught me so far:
- It’s okay to disagree. My husband & I are completely different, very, very different when it comes to most things. “so why did you marry him?” You may be saying in your mind, well they don’t say opposites attract for no reason lol. A relationship is not about being the same, it’s about compatibility. Simply because we don’t have the same characteristics does not mean we can’t intertwine & make it work. Communication is the beauty behind it all. You both have to be mature enough to learn about one another, accept each other’s differences, & embrace them.
- You are a team. I believe I’ve mentioned this on social media before. You won’t always be love birds. Shoot, you won’t always even like each other lol, but you will always be a team. You are his/her main support system. There shouldn’t be another person/friend/relative that comes before your spouse. In order to keep the household functional you both put in the same amount of work. Obviously, husband & wife require different roles but it’s always equal. He’s no greater, nor are you.
- Be humble. I honestly believe this is the greatest aspect of marriage that has changed me. I remember back in my high school days my weakness was my pride. I lost love before because of it. Never have I believed in apologizing or being the first one to admit I was wrong, ever. Until I met David. Quite frankly, I struggle with this occasionally (very rarely) but it still happens at times. Being humble can be difficult, especially when you haven’t been your whole life. However, it is one the most vital traits to have in a relationship. You have to be humble to succeed in marriage, point blank. This may come off blunt, but if you are a prideful spouse, please for your sake get your foot out of your butt & change. Trust me, from personal experience things just get worse because no one wants to live, much less be with a prideful woman/man for the rest of their life.
- You don’t just, give up. Oh my, I can’t stress this enough! The reason why divorce is at a high percentage. We have people out here treating marriages like juvenile relationships. Nobody wants to put in real effort now a days. Yes marriage can get ugly, yes there will be times you think about leaving because clouded thoughts invade your mind, yes you start to think twice about your feelings. This will happen at a point in time, but you get through it, together. Of course you have to measure the seriousness of the problem, however, most issues CAN BE RESOLVED. I personally don’t see divorce as a light matter. I don’t like to think of it as an excuse to go astray from something that became difficult. You can’t force things, but you sure can make them work.
- GOD, SPOUSE, YOU. I stand firmly on this one. This is definitely, by far the most vital rule of all. I do understand many people aren’t religious or believe in God, and that’s alright. In my perspective, however, this has been key to a happy marriage so far. Placing God first in our lives has improved our marriage in all aspects. I’ve experienced 360 changes in myself & my husband, we’ve clearly seen Gods work. You also have to think of your spouse’s happiness. I’ve learned sacrifice in marriage is inevitable. Do I love David more than myself? Not necessarily, but I do love him enough to sacrifice my happiness if need be (this is also vice versa). Once you both stop thinking of your individual happiness, you begin to blossom as one.
I know this was a very straight forward post, one of the most blunt topics thus far lol. Hopefully I didn’t offend anyone! I love you all, even if you don’t see it from my perspective. This is simply what I’ve personally learned & a piece of genuine advice from me to you. (:
ALL TIME FAVORITE MARRIAGE QUOTE: “If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” – Elder F. Burton Howard
To read my personal perspective on what marriage has taught me and the tips I have given, be sure to check out my piece over at forthelovelydays.com