Luis and I were never newlyweds. Okay sure, technically we were, but having had a daughter born almost a year before our wedding, so in better words we never really went through that “honeymoon phase”.
On the other hand, this past year has been our first year actually living together. Luis was over all the time before but actually moving in with someone is a whole different ball park. So, sure we weren’t traditional, but we have just about made it through our first year of marriage! We celebrate that in just two weeks! I watched a movie the other day and the grooms parents approached the new couple towards the end of their reception and gave them some great words of wisdom. They told them that the first year is the hardest and if you can get through your first year of marriage you can get through anything. This rung so true with me. We like to think of the beginning of a marriage as sunshine and daisies but I don’t think I’m alone in saying it has been one of the hardest years of my life. You spend that first year learning their habits, what they do before bed, what they do when they wake up, the type of gel they use, and the list goes on. You are quite literally merging two lives together and while it is beautiful and magical… it is work! On top of that, life happens, and maybe it was just a bit of bad luck or maybe it seems to happen to all newlyweds, but life outside of our marriage this past year has been tough as well.
You learn a LOT in that first year of marriage and I wouldn’t doubt that you continue to learn more as the years go on but there is one thing that seems to be the most important to me. The work is never done, and it never needs to be perfect. You are going to mess up, you are going to get on your spouse’s last nerve, and that’s okay. We are humans, we make mistakes on a daily basis. You vowed to love each other for better or for worse and sometimes for worse is when he left that bowl in the room for the millionth time even though the kitchen is just steps away and you are about ready to strangle him! He’s not perfect, you’re not perfect, and that’s okay. You weren’t made to be perfect. We were made flawed and with room to grow. We were made to support our loved ones. How beautiful is it that I get to watch my husband grow and transform for the rest of our lives?!
Whether you’ve been married for one year or twenty, remember that the work is never done. The moment you stop working on your marriage is the moment it fails. But also, don’t forget that nothing ever needs to be perfect, perfection is simply not natural.
In a short amount of time my husband and I will have made it through one year of marriage, which according to the movie means we are now prepared for anything. RAD.
What would be your number one tip for other married couples? We are always open to all the advice we can get!