Coming to terms with what you have done in the past is ESSENTIAL to growth. The number one issue I see people (myself included) have when they are trying to better themselves is that they cannot come to terms with their past selves. Often times I have felt the need to “let go” of the past, as many people have suggested. However, that’s much easier said than done. And I’ll let you in on a little secret… it’s nearly impossible to literally drop an event off of the past and out of your head. There’s a reason for that, you aren’t supposed to! That’s not to say you shouldn’t try your best to let it go when your husband is driving you nuts, I mean it to say that you should not try to shove significant parts of your life down the drain.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve done some pretty shitty things in life. I’ll also be the first to tell you that I have tried and tried and tried to let it all go and forget it ever happened. And I suffered from that. Big time. Trying to disown your actions and the events that have happened in your life will never make things better. I sat on the edge of my seat for quite some time, worried that I would be questioned about my past, worried that my stories wouldn’t flow, and worried that people would see right through me and call me out for the liar I was. I didn’t want to own my life and for that, I didn’t want anyone to know about it. The person I put forth wasn’t me and that constantly left me feeling fake, feeling as though no one would truly like me if I was… me!
As I came across the realization that accepting these pieces of myself was crucial, the weight I carried on my shoulders slowly lifted. You see, you don’t have to be who you once were. People can see that difference just by being around you. However, who you are now is a result of where you have been, and if you are proud of the person you are becoming there is absolutely no shame in your “whole picture”.
I can’t tell you that there is a magical solution to this, but I can promise you that consciously being aware that a mindset change is needed will help you with that transition from shame to owning your past.
The options are endless for you to grow as a person after you’ve stepped through this one, so why not try? If we aren’t here to learn and grow, what are we even doing?
Until next time..