Marriage is kind of funny don’t ya think? Deciding to stick with one person the rest of your life, learning how to grow together without losing your individuality. If I hadn’t seen it work firsthand I would think it sounds absolutely crazy! Now, my bae & I are far from perfect, individually & as a couple. When I say that I don’t mean it as in the “We aren’t perfect but we are pretty awesome. The only thing we fight about is where to eat for dinner”, no, that is not us. Aiming for it one day but we are human and we are working hard & have been learning a lot about each other, ourselves, marriage, love & acceptance in the last six months or so.
Last week we celebrated two years of marriage and four years as a couple. To treat each other we hit up our honeymoon resort in Cancun for our anniversary trip.
I enjoyed it so much, and felt an overwhelming amount of love for my husband, something I have felt a lot more in the last 3 months than I had in the last few years. I wanted to take a minute to share some tips. Now I know this is nothing new, marriage tips are scattered across the internet, but these are things we/I have been working on slowly but surely & doing so has made me rediscover a love for my husband. I thought I understood love, marriage, acceptance & the concept of forever before but I am just know, through this awakening, truly getting a glimpse in and it sure it beautiful.
Learn & understand your partner’s love language as well as your own. This simple piece of the puzzle has opened so many doors. Understanding and truly accepting your partner’s love language allows you to seep into every crack of their heart. You may not like it, but you cannot change it.
By understanding my own love language I have finally put two and two together. We tend to want to give love the way we receive it, makes sense, right? Being aware of this and not changing it, but adding in your partner’s language to your giving will propel your relationship to a new level.
Don’t take everything so seriously. I truly struggle with this one but a serious life 24/7 is not a fun one. You may find yourself avoiding your partner or vice versa, think about it, do you have fun together? Do conversations often stay on track on money, children, jobs? Sure it is important, but you know what else is? Having fun, joking, light-hearted banter. Loosen up friends.
Accept their baggage. We as humans simply want to feel accepted. Let your partner unload their baggage. Feeling 100% comfortable and not holding anything back is a recipe for a long lasting relationship.
Likewise, unload your baggage when they are ready to receive it. Feeling like you are on tip toes and keeping something back from your partner brings so much added stress to a relationship. It is uncomfortable but talk to them, and if you feel as though they may not be ready let them know you are ready when they are. Truth is the strongest foundation.
Remember that you are two different people learning to grow together. Celebrate your differences, don’t let each other lose the characteristics that made you fall in love in the first place, allow each other space & time to be with friends. Never suffocate but remember to reciprocate. Make space for time apart but just as importantly schedule time to be with each other and no one else.
All in all remember that perfection isn’t possible & expectations are the root of disappointment. Your partner isn’t perfect but those flaws make them human and that is beautiful. Improvement should always be encouraged and supported but complete change should never be forced. Marriage is beautiful if you’ll let it be. I remind myself that every day.